i started a new job - my 3rd new one this year. Its been about 3 days now. Often when i get back from work, I switch on the pc and then i logon to blogger but some or rather I don't feel like writing so I log off again.
I can't begin to explain how i feel inside. I believe my problem with myself is so deeply rooted that I don't know what it is anymore.
Something really terrible about me. My Mind - is constantly analyzing , thinking and on top of all worrying. Every little bit of things - I will ponder and analyze and think. That part of it has brought many many problems in my life.
But I can't switch it off. Constantly, even during sleep, my mind if ticking. Maybe that is why I can't have a good sleep.
Maybe thats the reason why I am so tired. I am mentally drained.
I think alot I have to admit. I have to find a reason for everything. But maybe life is like that, you can't find a reason for everything.
I remember once in my philosophy class, I was asked by the professor. You're a christian. why do you believe in God. How do you know there's God. I said.. for me, its like the air you breath, you can't see it yet you know its there. That's how it is for me. Maybe that's faith....
This Advent season, I have been praying to have this part of me sacrificed to God. I need to be able to leave my fears and worries to Him. Its tough.
SIgh... i don't know what to do.....
my mind - the ultimate confusion in my life.
1 comment:
I just wanted to add that with such an active mind, you could use it to your advantage. Why not channel it to something positive, eg think more on your spiritual quests.. or think more about what you can do for your new role.. or think about what you plan to do in the next 5 years: what are the actions, what measurements you want to achieve, when, etc.
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